The News + The Battle

The news.

Oh, golly.  What a source of anxiety it can be.  More often than not, I find myself staying away from it as much as possible.  We don't have cable or satellite, so avoiding news channels is easy.  What's not easy, however, is avoiding the posts and forwards in social media.  My newsfeed on Facebook has been full of reports about groups targeting Christians.  Even my email inbox contained sad truths about the goings on of the world.  It breaks my heart to know this is happening around the world.  But more than that, if I'm totally honest, it scares me.  Fear swells so easily in my heart at the mention of things going on in regions that may affect my Warrior.

But fear can't be the final word.  Fear can't be the answer.

"For God gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power and love and self-control."  

2 Timothy 1:7

As much as I want to hide in a closet, plug my ears, and ignore the global events of current times, I know I wasn't created for ignorance or avoidance.

I was created to fight.  I was created to be a warrior.

Maybe my fight doesn't happen on a physical battlefield.  Maybe there aren't tangible fire fights.  But the battle around me is real.  The battle for my heart, my mind has been waged.  And if I don't participate in the battle, if I don't fight back, if I run and hide and cover my eyes and plug my ears, my life isn't the only one affected.  Because how can I possibly support my Warrior spiritually if I'm so afraid, so consumed with the what-ifs that I stall and stammer and hit my hiding place rather than hit my knees?

And so I'm making an intentional choice--well, two choices, actually.
1.  I will be informed.
     Yes, I will limit the information I see and process; but I will not avoid it.  Instead, I'll use it as a platform for prayers to take root, for faith to grow.

2.  I will fight.
  I will not cower.  I will not let fear get the best of me.  I will pray in faith, walk by faith.

How about you?  Will you join me?

"Finally, my [sisters], be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.  Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.  For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.  Therefor take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand."

Ephesians 6:10-13

Showing Support + Letting Go

I'm a question queen.  Really.  If someone ever says to me, "Let me know if you have any questions," I always cringe and resist the urge to correct him/her by turning that  if to a when.  In many cases, there's nothing wrong with asking questions.  For example, before I agree to tackle a new project or assignment, there are several good questions to ask:  How much time will this take?  What are the expected results?  Is there a particular method that works best?  And so on and so forth.

However, I frequently get myself into trouble with the number of questions I ask at home.  All too often, my first response to Husband walking in the door is a litany of questions.

How are you?
How was your day?
Did you eat your lunch?
Where's your lunch box?
What do you want for dinner?
How did  x, y, or z go today?

You get the picture.  And maybe you can relate?

I have such good intentions of wanting to show support and be invested in his life, but presenting Husband with a survey upon his arrival home isn't necessarily the best way to do that.

In fact, often my verbal questionnaires are interpreted as overbearing and controlling, which (albeit unintentional) undermines and down right annoys Husband.  All too often, I forget to actually consider the type of day he's had.  Maybe it was full of meetings, phone calls, planning with his team, or language school.  Or maybe it was full of answering questions from his team and his superiors.  Either way, my endless question chatter doesn't exactly serve as a "Welcome home, I'm so glad you serve our country" banner.

If my intention truly is to support Husband, then I must ensure that I'm supporting him in ways that are meaningful to him, which my not be my first instinct.  My first instinct is often to hold on tighter when there are unknown variables, be they the day-to-day humdrum or more significant details like when the next deployment date will be.  I'm learning, though, that holding on tightly is not effective for our marriage.  Really, it's quite the opposite.  The tighter my grip, the less likely Husband is to open up and share.  But, when I can relax and let go, pause my questions and need for information, that's when Husband is able to also relax, and thereby, be more willing to communicate openly.

None of this is easy for me.  I like things a certain way--MY way. (Don't we all?!)  To help me remember what's important I'm breaking things down into smaller bites.  Here are a few that I'm focusing on now:  

1. Prioritize my questions.  Don't ask them all at once.
2.  Give him space.  Greet him when he comes home, yes, but don't attack him with a interrogation.
3.  Let go.  Realize that some of my questions may go unanswered for a bit, or for longer.  Be okay with that.
4.  Change my perspective.  Consider how to support him as he needs to be supported, not just how I think he needs supported.

These are just a few things I'm trying to implement currently.  I know there are many more areas to improve; but for now, I'm starting here.  

How do you show support for your warrior?  What obstacles do you face in the process of showing your support?