The News + The Battle

The news.

Oh, golly.  What a source of anxiety it can be.  More often than not, I find myself staying away from it as much as possible.  We don't have cable or satellite, so avoiding news channels is easy.  What's not easy, however, is avoiding the posts and forwards in social media.  My newsfeed on Facebook has been full of reports about groups targeting Christians.  Even my email inbox contained sad truths about the goings on of the world.  It breaks my heart to know this is happening around the world.  But more than that, if I'm totally honest, it scares me.  Fear swells so easily in my heart at the mention of things going on in regions that may affect my Warrior.

But fear can't be the final word.  Fear can't be the answer.

"For God gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power and love and self-control."  

2 Timothy 1:7

As much as I want to hide in a closet, plug my ears, and ignore the global events of current times, I know I wasn't created for ignorance or avoidance.

I was created to fight.  I was created to be a warrior.

Maybe my fight doesn't happen on a physical battlefield.  Maybe there aren't tangible fire fights.  But the battle around me is real.  The battle for my heart, my mind has been waged.  And if I don't participate in the battle, if I don't fight back, if I run and hide and cover my eyes and plug my ears, my life isn't the only one affected.  Because how can I possibly support my Warrior spiritually if I'm so afraid, so consumed with the what-ifs that I stall and stammer and hit my hiding place rather than hit my knees?

And so I'm making an intentional choice--well, two choices, actually.
1.  I will be informed.
     Yes, I will limit the information I see and process; but I will not avoid it.  Instead, I'll use it as a platform for prayers to take root, for faith to grow.

2.  I will fight.
  I will not cower.  I will not let fear get the best of me.  I will pray in faith, walk by faith.

How about you?  Will you join me?

"Finally, my [sisters], be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.  Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.  For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.  Therefor take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand."

Ephesians 6:10-13

Showing Support + Letting Go

I'm a question queen.  Really.  If someone ever says to me, "Let me know if you have any questions," I always cringe and resist the urge to correct him/her by turning that  if to a when.  In many cases, there's nothing wrong with asking questions.  For example, before I agree to tackle a new project or assignment, there are several good questions to ask:  How much time will this take?  What are the expected results?  Is there a particular method that works best?  And so on and so forth.

However, I frequently get myself into trouble with the number of questions I ask at home.  All too often, my first response to Husband walking in the door is a litany of questions.

How are you?
How was your day?
Did you eat your lunch?
Where's your lunch box?
What do you want for dinner?
How did  x, y, or z go today?

You get the picture.  And maybe you can relate?

I have such good intentions of wanting to show support and be invested in his life, but presenting Husband with a survey upon his arrival home isn't necessarily the best way to do that.

In fact, often my verbal questionnaires are interpreted as overbearing and controlling, which (albeit unintentional) undermines and down right annoys Husband.  All too often, I forget to actually consider the type of day he's had.  Maybe it was full of meetings, phone calls, planning with his team, or language school.  Or maybe it was full of answering questions from his team and his superiors.  Either way, my endless question chatter doesn't exactly serve as a "Welcome home, I'm so glad you serve our country" banner.

If my intention truly is to support Husband, then I must ensure that I'm supporting him in ways that are meaningful to him, which my not be my first instinct.  My first instinct is often to hold on tighter when there are unknown variables, be they the day-to-day humdrum or more significant details like when the next deployment date will be.  I'm learning, though, that holding on tightly is not effective for our marriage.  Really, it's quite the opposite.  The tighter my grip, the less likely Husband is to open up and share.  But, when I can relax and let go, pause my questions and need for information, that's when Husband is able to also relax, and thereby, be more willing to communicate openly.

None of this is easy for me.  I like things a certain way--MY way. (Don't we all?!)  To help me remember what's important I'm breaking things down into smaller bites.  Here are a few that I'm focusing on now:  

1. Prioritize my questions.  Don't ask them all at once.
2.  Give him space.  Greet him when he comes home, yes, but don't attack him with a interrogation.
3.  Let go.  Realize that some of my questions may go unanswered for a bit, or for longer.  Be okay with that.
4.  Change my perspective.  Consider how to support him as he needs to be supported, not just how I think he needs supported.

These are just a few things I'm trying to implement currently.  I know there are many more areas to improve; but for now, I'm starting here.  

How do you show support for your warrior?  What obstacles do you face in the process of showing your support?

A Prayer for My Warrior: Test day

Lord, I lift up my husband to you.  You know the nature of his day today and the intensity of his schedule.  You know what he needs.  Help him to think clearly, decide wisely, act calmly.  Be his Strength today, his Endurance, his Shield against the enemy's darts.  

Guide his thinking and speaking on his test today.  Help him perform at his peak.  Cause him to walk away from his test encouraged and empowered.  I ask for mental clarity and stamina.  Keep distractions at bay.  Keep his voice clear and strong, and his cold symptoms out of the way.  Give him confidence and assurance as he performs today.  

Thank You for caring about the details in our lives.  Thank You for Your faithfulness.  Thank you for Your love and grace.  

Amen.

A New Adventure

In the last twelve months, I've found my life to be quite a whirlwind.  Falling in love.  Quitting jobs.  Moving states.  Starting new jobs.  Getting engaged.  Getting married.  Moving again.  It's been an incredible adventure and I'm not even the least bit sorry that I am where I am currently.

That said, this adventure has not been without its challenges.  Marriage in and of itself is enough of a challenge.  Worth it, for sure, but challenging nonetheless.  Add in the fact that I'm learning the ropes of Army life as well and that just ups the ante all around.

I can't tell you what I would've given in the last year alone to have someone walk with me, day-by-day, step-by-step, the process of becoming a wife and acclimating to Army life.  Not only that, but to do it with a Biblical, Godly perspective.  There have been plenty of times--moments, hours, WEEKS--that I've been desperate for that.  Desperate for a friendship, a mentorship, a quiet mouth and a listening ear that has maybe been here and done this before or that is in the same spot as I am, and looking for the same companionship along the way.

Don't get me wrong:  I've got support and encouragement.  I have wonderful, Godly women in my life that offer continual wisdom, encouragement, and prayers.  But I've struggled to find someone at the same stage to share with.

I've spent countless hours reading various blogs on marriage, Army life, being a Godly wife, etc.  But I've yet to find something that combines all of those elements together.  After multiple temper tantrums and pity parties, I was finally quiet enough to hear the Lord's challenge.  If I so badly longed for a community of wives like me--wives struggling to find/define their role, balance their lives, support their husbands--why didn't I initiate something?  Why didn't I create a place for that to happen?

And here I am.  Writing this post on a cold November Saturday.  It's a leap of faith.  I have many an insecurity tied up in starting something like this.  But I'm determined to follow the Lord's prompting.  I'm determined to do my best to encourage and connect other wives in a situation similar to mine.  And I'm hopeful that it will be successful, whatever that may look like.

Without any further adieu, welcome to Prayers of a Warrior's Wife!

XO,
Jessica